“My manager treats every leave for a sick kid as slacking. In the name of equality he does not think about how women commute or stay when we travel for offsites. Do I keep my head down and push through?”
I have seen this manager many times. The one who, in the name of treating everyone the same, refuses to think about whether the offsite venue in an industrial area is safe to commute to. The one who gets irritated by a sick-child leave instead of being compassionate, and quietly files it under “slacking.”
My answer is short, and I mean every word of it.
There is no future with such a manager. Change the team, or change the company.
Stay in a company that really values you. Otherwise every single day will be a battle, and you will spend energy fighting for basic consideration that your peers get for free. That energy is supposed to go into your work, your growth, and your life.
You cannot compassion-train your manager from below. It is not your job, and it almost never works. What you can control is where you put your talent. Put it somewhere it is valued.